Sakura
by Frankenstein's Mom
Summary: A Mulan parody. Sakura is Mulan and everything goes down hill from there. I made it funnyer than it really is! R&R por favor! thats spanish for Please! DISCONTINUED


I have a brain fart so i made some people up. Haruno Nobu, Haruno Akemi and I guess that this is made up but Granny Haruno.

Kankuro stood half asleep at his poast yawning. "This is soooo boring." He said with tiredness clearly in his voice. Something hit him in the back of the head, and because he was half asleep, he fell flat on his face. When he got to his feet and looked at what had hit him in the back of his head, "Ahhhhhh...ah...ah." He forced out. Clearly he was extreamly tired. "We're under attack! Light... Light the... The... Uhh. Hey what am I supposed to tell them to light?" Kankuro said.

"The signal!"

"I don't wanna do this anymore!"

"Just do it!"

"We're under attack! Light the signal!" There was one puff of smoke, then many others. When the puffs of smoke cleared, the Akatsuki were visible. A very large and very bright light came on. "There, now all of allied villages know that you are here."

Per..."

"Am I done yet?"

"Not yet." Kankuro growned at the fact that he couldn't go to sleep yet. "As I was saying. Perfect."

"Okay Kankuro. Now you're done and can go to sleep." Kankuro ran off to go to bed.

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Gai ran into the Hokage Chamber. "The Akatsuki have brought Suna to their knees and are heading here as we speek sir."

"I'm a miss!" Tsunade yelled at Gai. "B-but in the oringinal its an emperor." Gai said. I, being the director, walked up to Gai and gave him a swift smack across the face. "I'm the one making this little fic, and if I want Tsunade to be emperess, then Tsunade is the the emperess!"

"Why?"

"Because here, I have more power than you do. It's a little thing I call 'Author power'."

"But..."

"Shut up!"

"That's very un-youthful."

"I said shut up!" As I walked back off set everyone in the room uncovered their ears. Shizune spoke up, "But that's impossible right? I mean doesn't Suna have very powerful and elite ninja?" Tsunade held up a hand to silence Shizune. "Gai is there anything else that you need to tell me before I through you out of here for that emperor coment?" Gai gulped and stutered becasue he didn't want to say anything else that would make Tsunade want to through him out, beat him or worse... Kill him. "Y-yes. U-umm... Itachi is leading them. Should we set up defences around your chamber miss?" Tsunade smiled that he didn't call her sir again and simply stated, "No. Shizune, I want you to assemble troops to protect the citizens of Konaha."

"Yes ma'am. Any special requests?" Tsunade thought for a moment. "Yes. I want reserves, any new recruits that you can, conscription notices to be delivered throught all of Konaha and for this trembling pile of a green migrain waiting to happen to leave at once." Gai got up and started to leave. He thought that his troop would be able to stop them but he knew what Tsunade would say. Something about a grain of rice tiping a scale of win and defeat. So he silently left.

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Sakura sat by the window in her room craming before she went to the matchmaker. "Okay so, quiet, demure... Graceful, polite, delicate refined, poised..." A rooster by Sakura's window crow loudly, witch made her fall out of her seat. She quickly grabbed the paint brush and wrote on her arm. "Punctual." She said as she wrote. She quickly glanced at the clock. "Oh it's only eight fifty... Eight fifty?! I have to be in town by nine. Oh crap." Sakura ran around the house looking and blowing on her arm calling out, "Akamaru!" She blew on her arm some more. "Akamaru! Akamaru where are...?" She saw the little white dog sleeping under the kitchen tabe, as usual. "There you are Akamaru." Sakura walked over to the kitchen table and crouched down to his level. "Akamaru." She said quietly as she gently shook him awake. Akamaru jumped up wide awake to Sakura. "Who's the best little doggy in the world? You are. Now what does the best little doggy in the world say to helping me with my chores?"

Sakura tied a bag of chiken feed to his back and a bone on a pole to his coller. She let him into the chicken coop and opened the bag of chicken feed. Akamaru fowlled Sakura, but not before he hit the post of wood that held the gate up. As he ran after Sakura and the bone, the chikens followed the trail of feed that he left behind.

Haruno Nobu sat in the temple praying to the Ancestors. He had his head down on his entwined fingers. (yay five points to me for using entwined!) "Oh honerable Ancestors... Please help Sakura impress Madam Shijimi." At that moment Akamaru ran into the temple and made a circle of feed around Nobu looking for Sakura. Nobu looked up. "Please please oh please."

"Oh father. I brought you your... oopsie." Sakura triped over her own feet and droped the small tea cup on the grownd. Thankfully, she was able to catch the teak pot before it hit the grownd. "Don't worry father, I have an extra cup."

"Sakura..."

"You know what the docter says."

"Sakura..."

"Three cups of tea in the morning."

"Sakura..."

"And three cups of tea at night."

"Sakura you should alrady be getting ready to see the matchmaker in town. You know that this whole family is counting on you to..." Sakura sighed. "To uphold the family honor. There is no need to worry. I won't let you down." Sakura ran to the door. As she left she called back to her father. "Wish me luck!"

"Hurry!" Nobu called back to his daughter. Then he turned around as the chickens started to come in to follow the trail of feed that Akamaru had left in the temple. Then he said to himself, "I'm going to go pray some more."


End file.
